Mom, how do you want to name me?

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Please DO NOT read this, if you're a very sensitive person or in a sensitive condition
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Mom, how do you want to name me?

Mom ...
I obtained my present shape with the brush of your thoughts
I am the little lamp in the temple of your heart
I am swimming like a goldfish in the ocean your dreams
I am the precious little baby in the ocean of your womb

Mom, in a matter of few months ...
I'll be sitting in your lap and looking at the moon with joy
I'll be lying by your side and drink the nectar of your milk
I'll be listening to your lullabies and dissolve into a world of dreams
I'll be swinging in your undivided attention and swooning in your kisses
I'll be proudly looking at you, my dad and my brother

Mom, who am I ...
Am I indra's daughter or chandra's sister
Am I UrvaSI's friend or pArvatI's blessing
Am I the bubble floating on the ambrosia of the milky ocean
Am I the ray of light from the distant stars

(indra = lord of the heaven, chandra = moon,
UrvaSi = a celestial dancer, pArvati = Siva's wife considered kindness personified)

Mom, how do you want to name me ...
Do you want to name me sudhA or madhu
or is it nidhi or niSi
Do you like ratna or raSmi
or is it ramA or ratI
How does lalita sound or vANI
or is it moonlight or vINA
How about samata or mamata
or is it himA or sumA

(sudhA = nectar, madhu = sweet or intoxicant, nidhi = wealth, niSi = night,
ratna = precious stone, raSmi = ray of light, ramA = lakshmI, ratI = goddess of desire,
lalita = beautiful, also pArvati, vANI = sarasvatI, vINA = a stringed instrument,
samata = equality, mamata = affection, himA = dew, sumA = flower)

Mom ...
This place, your womb, is very dark
How long should I be tumbling here up and down
When can I be in your loving hands,
in your warm laps and in your sweet embrace
When will that day be
When can I look at your lovely face

Mom, mom, what is this ...
Something is happening, something is piercing me
It's very painful
Save me mom, quickly

Mom ...
My wish remains unfulfilled
My dreams have melted like camphor
A pound of flesh that can never dance in your laps
That's what I have become

Mom, mom, mom ...

Dedicated with sadness to all the fetuses that never became girls

Regards! - mOhana

Comments

smahalakshmi's picture

JKM sir, as i read this tears are coming from my eyes. I read this a loud for my hubby too, Lovely poem. Wass it yours? THanks for sharing.

Mahalakshmi

ammuchandhini's picture

Oh...this is indeed a very sad poem...as though that something is piercing me...from outside....thanks for sharing jkm sir.....

smahalakshmi's picture

JKM sir, I'm again and again opening this blog and reading ur poem.

Mahalakshmi

Lata's picture

I don't know what to say about how I felt when I first read this in the morning.
Incidentally, this topic was discussed by a few medical professionals on a program that aired (on radio) yesterday and it made some reference to a doctor from AIIMIS (All India Institute of Medical Institute), who had shared some gruesome details about partial abortions conducted. I couldn't keep the radio on beyond a certain point (especially when he mentioned that partial remains of dead foetuses were thrown/left for the animals/dogs.
I have more to share about this topic, but due to lack of time, am not able to do so. In short, I would say that this practice of selective abortion is going on to a certain extent here in California among Indian Americans.

Lata's picture

Not sure if I'm supposed to delete the latter part of my comment. Please let me know if anyone finds it offensive. I was merely sharing a fact and didn't intend to offend anyone.

Dr.Rekha Shetty's picture

Rao sir it is a very sad but truthful poem .It touches the heart of all human particularly women but still with compulsion some ladies bound t do this mistakes ia there any way to stop otherhtna educating the people ?

vasanthi's picture

very sad to read this poem sir...and very very said to hear lata mam that partial remains are thrown to animals...
I can't control my tears lata mam...

vijaysowmya's picture

Very painful......I am unable to continue.

rajamma_2's picture

No... I am not opening and reading this poem and comments.
rajamma

subashini's picture

we feel pain in our heart, body and soul.I can't control my tears.
ALLikoLvai yendru ninaiththeney amma ippadi
adharkkuL azhikka ninaiththadhu yen amma
neeyum vali unargiraaya amma
verum udalila , unarvila?

kaakkum kadavuLendrey unnai ninaiththirundhen
azhikkum arrakkiyaaga maariyadhu yen amma?
neeyum peN dhaanay ammarey unnai ninaiththirundhen
azhikkum arrakkiyaaga maariyadhu yen amma?
neeyum peN dhaanay amma
unnai sumandhavalum pen dhaanay amma
unnai polay avalum ninaiththirundhaal
ulagil neeyum irundhirukka mattai dhaanay amma

subashini's picture

2011-06-28 23:40

reply

we feel pain in our heart, body and soul.I can't control my tears.
ALLikoLvai yendru ninaiththeney amma ippadi
adharkkuL azhikka ninaiththadhu yen amma
neeyum vali unargiraaya amma
verum udalila , unarvila?
aakkum kadavuLendrey unnai ninaiththirundhen
azhikkum arrakkiyaaga maariyadhu yen amma?

neeyum peN dhaanay amma
unnai sumandhavalum pen dhaanay amma
unnai polay avalum ninaiththirundhaal
ulagil neeyum irundhirukka mattai dhaanay amma
nenjam valikkiradhaa amma?
nimmadhiyaaga irukka mudiyuma unnal amma?

kan thirandhu naan paarkum munnay yennai
karuvill azhiththavaLey
maN meedhu naan pirakkum munnay yennai
maNNil yerindhavalay
peNNaaga nee pirandhadhai ninaiththu yennai azhiththaayo?
adhil pizhai iruppadhaaga nee unarndhaayo?
maNNil naan pirandhirundhaal, unnai maatri iruppeno yennavo
kannil thuLirkkum neerai thudaiththiruppeno yennavo.

smahalakshmi's picture

Suba , please dear. I can't control my tears. I don't want to open this blog any more.

Mahalakshmi

subashini's picture

வலிக்கிறதே ,maha, வலிக்கிறதே உடலும், மனமும் வலி உணர்கின்றதே , என்ன செய்ய ?பரிதாப பட வேண்டிய ஜீவன் தாயா, மகளா என்று தெரியாமல் ,எப்படி இதற்க்கு பதில் சொல்ல முடியும்?சமீபத்தில் ,தமிழ் செய்தித்தாள் ஒன்றில் , ஒரே பக்கத்தில் வந்த இரு செய்திகளை நீங்கள் அனைவரும் படித்திருக்கக்கூடும் .நான்கு வயது பெண் குழந்தை ஒன்றை , எட்டு வயது வயது ஆண் குழந்தை ஒன்று கற்பழித்து , கொலை செய்து மரப்பொந்தொன்றில் ஒளித்து வைத்திருந்த கொடுமையும், பதினான்கு சிறுமி ஒருத்தியை ,ஐம்பத்திநான்கு வயது ஆண் ஒருவர், (திருப்பதி தேவஸ்தானத்தை சேர்ந்தவர் )கற்பழித்த கேவலமும் நாட்டில் இன்னும் , அதாவது தன்னிறைவு அடைந்ததாக பெருமை அடைந்து கொள்ளும் நாட்டில் நடக்கிறதே ."ஆணும் பெண்ணும் நிகரென கொள்வதால் , அறிவிலோங்கி இவ்வையகம் தழைக்குமாம் " இது எப்போது ? மனம் துடிக்கிறது .நிஜமான தீர்வுகள் கிடைக்கும் வரை , அது கருவில் அழிந்தால் என்ன , வளர்ந்த பின் அழிந்தால் என்ன .வளர்ந்த பின் அழிவது இன்னும் கொடுமை அல்லவா? என் கருத்துகள் யாரையும் புண்படுத்தி ,இருந்தால் மன்னிக்கவும் .நான் யாரையும் , குறை சொல்ல இதை எழுத வில்லை .ஏதோ தோன்றியது அவ்வளவுதான் .

smahalakshmi's picture

Suba, Your poem and JKM sir's poem, made me stand in the shoes of that womb and made me to feel that pain. and couldn't control my tears. Still there are some parents who don't want to give birth for a girl baby. How can we stop this? Who will educate them?

Mahalakshmi

jkmrao's picture

Thanks everybody! I offer my sincere apologies to one and all for making you sad. That was not my intention. When I read the Indian census statistics on April1, I too felt sad and this work was in my mind for the last three months. I thought I must give words to my feelings. This was originally written in telugu and what you're seeing is my translation. The editors of the online journal eemaaTa removed the stanza beginning with "Mom, who am I" and the rest will be published in the July issue. This horrible practice bothered me even in those days when I was in Madurai, where it was quite common. In this day and age when (as I wrote in my earlier blog) women are improving their standards by leaps and bounds, this must be eradicated. Education is the one and only way. The true meaning of freedom will reverberate only when girls are valued as much as boys in society and are respected too. If not today, I am hopeful that day will dawn and some of you will certainly witness that dawn.

Regards! - mOhana

Dr.Rekha Shetty's picture

Suba i will try to understand your poem once my steno translate it for me .Suba in school and college days i used to write poems and stories in kannada .that time my motivator was my kannada professor Dr.Beytnal .He must have written more than 400 books(he was as popular as Girish karnad) and he kept the books with my college librarian to handover to me whenever i will visit the college. He and his wife treated me like their child. (u won’t believe after years I met him in my medical college where he was admitted and taken his last breath in the same hospital ).This itself shows how much he used to love me. He was my inspiration, my guide and philosopher too .After years when i visited my ex college on one of the occasion (sincerely I don’t remember)i received the books which i have donated to kannada library run by karnatak sangh . One of my poems became very popular amongst student i.e"Korike"-Request (that year i got the best written poem prize of the student award). If i get the published copy from the magazine i will upload it .Since i have not written any poem for a pretty long period i have lost the confidence .But whenever i see ur poem i feel like start writing again dear

vasanthi's picture

OMG...should not have read this....my eyes full of tears......

subashini's picture

Learning about your ability to write poem in kannada, and your professor , I am happy madam.I want to put a "korike".to you.you must try to write and translate it as soon as you can.please do it for us.we are waiting for that.And also happy to know my writing , though it is childish , made you thing to write.By the way, why don't you call me "suba' as you did first.

jkmrao's picture

rEkhA ma'am, feel free to send your kannaDa poems to me, I'll translate them when I find time.

Regards! - mOhana

Dr.Rekha Shetty's picture

Sir thank u very much i will bring the magazine from my mother's place(if she as not destroyed it, even in that case i will try to get it from my ex college library ) and i will send the mail to lata as i don't have kannada script .With ur and suba 's encouragemnt i will try to write once again even if it is silly i will upload it for ur valuable suggestion sir .

Nalini Venkatesh's picture

absolutely speechless....in the beginning you feel to read the next line but towards the end you regret reading it...