Kula deivam - Family deity

Submitted by Lata on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 16:13
People who grew up in India are familiar with Family deities/kul devata. While growing up as kids, you visit, believe in and worship your family deity. But, after your marriage, if you happen to be a woman, your family deity/temple is bound to change. Most probably you would follow your husband's family traditions, and visit your husband's family temple. Do you stop visiting your parents' family deity temple, or do you believe in both, and find a balance? This isn't a trick question. This is just one of those questions/thoughts that I had had for many years. Certain questions annoy parents, and you don't get answers that sound fair. I don't get a chance to visit my parent's temple when I visit India, although no one forbids me from visiting. :)
ashanagendra
What you said is 100% right Lata,here in India we are supposed to follow only our husband's family tradition.I came to my in-laws house when i was 16yrs its like i don't remember any of my parents family tradition & festivals ,here our family deity is neem tree we put sugarcane pandhakal and do puja whenever there is some marriage in family and when child is born .Its quite strange to become a stranger & not aware of in my parents customs &practices.:)
Mon, 08/24/2009 - 22:24 Permalink
Sumathi.v
Fortunately both my parents and my inlaws have the same kuladeivam although both families are not related to each other. In my opinion there is nothing wrong in worshipping your parent's God or your family God ,when all are Gods.
Mon, 08/24/2009 - 23:02 Permalink
rajamma_2

Lata, a very good topic.In my case our parents deity is Sadavudayar, and there ladies are not alloed to go and worship( like Ayyappan temple), Inlaw side Bagavathi temple, which we often visit. But everybody have their Ishta deivam no? you can pray to HIM/HER first.
Wed, 08/26/2009 - 02:32 Permalink
Shibrudha
My mother family deity is sadavudayar. Nice to hear people from my mom's native are there in ikolam.I love my mom very much, but now she is no more. Very glad to be a member of ikolam Nice if the SIL also receiprocate by calling MIL and FIL as amma and appa.
Fri, 10/28/2011 - 05:11 Permalink
jayamohan
Lata, perhaps you are aware that in brahmin families daughters in law address their in-laws as amma & appa! It was very difficult for me to do so when I got married 33 yrs ago! I didn't insist my DILs to address me as amma. But I was surprised when my daughters-in-law addressed us as amma and appa from day one of the engagement itself! Later I came to know that even my sons reciprocate it! Intelligent deal no? In the same way what's wrong in having 2 kuladeivams? Also, in Isha Yoga classes they teach us to develop a motherly attitude towards all creatures and see a mother in all fellow human beings. After that session it is easy for me to address everyone as amma or appa!
Tue, 09/01/2009 - 22:52 Permalink