Funny quotes from my friend

Received this email recently from one of my friends and thought I must share it with all of you... WHY GOD MADE MOMS All answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me... He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2 I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you get to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING -- SHARE THIS WITH OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS and anyone else who has anything to do with kids or just needs a good laugh!!!--

I could'nt stop laughing when I got this mail Lata and I was sure everyone would enjoy it...

Some intelligent(??) quotes :- I was born intelligent - education ruined me... Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect - so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak... How come "abbreviated" is such a long word? Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa... One should love animals. They are so tasty... Everyone should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life... The wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise... Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. Never put off the work till tomorrow, what you can put off today.... "Your future depends on your dreams" - So go to sleep... There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning... "Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk... "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours... God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.... The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget, The more you forget, the less you know, So, why learn....

hehe I can imagine what the situation must be :)

I was born intelligent - education ruined me. Practice makes perfect.. But nobody's perfect.. so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word? Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. The wise never marry and when they marry they become otherwise.